satyresque: (NYC Subway)
Originally posted by [livejournal.com profile] newyork_pagan at Welcome

cc, a podcast by and for members of the New York Pagan community.


This podcast features content created and submitted by New York Pagans.


To learn how you can become a contributor, please email us at editors@newyorkpagan.org.


Our editorial policies and submission pages are under construction and will be available soon.

Thank you for visiting!

My tweets

Jan. 3rd, 2013 12:01 pm
satyresque: (Default)

My tweets

Jan. 1st, 2013 12:00 pm
satyresque: (Default)
  • Mon, 19:03: 2012 has been so sweet to me. I warmly welcome 2013! Wishing everyone a blessed new year that is equally joyous, propserous & productive!

My tweets

Dec. 27th, 2012 12:00 pm
satyresque: (Default)
  • Wed, 12:02: Frost flowers in the central Arctic Ocean. http://t.co/RZ8yBPco
  • Wed, 14:23: 2012 is ending fast! What are your most treasured moments from the past year? For me, I got my own apartment, a new job and upgraded life!
satyresque: (Fairies)
Elves Faeries Gnomes: The "Destroying Angel" (Amanita bisporigera) is as deadly as it is beautiful. http://pinterest.com/pin/331366485052350265/
satyresque: (Willow kick ass!)
  • Sat, 23:52: This girl royally screwed my ad today. Tomorrow, I go in @ 9 am to work and will have to finish. #Blessed to have work, but #stressed!
  • Sun, 08:23: May both my day & yours go smoothly, without stress. Every second, every moment, remember why we're #Blessed

My tweets

Dec. 18th, 2012 12:00 pm
satyresque: (Kink)
  • Mon, 17:13: Sometimes (briefly) it's frustrating to think of all the things that I could get done if I simply didn't have a sex drive stuck on turbo.
  • Tue, 10:29: If you aren't aware, #Instagram updated its privacy policy to sell users' photos to advertisers without notification. http://t.co/aiXmd0aT

My tweets

Dec. 15th, 2012 12:00 pm
satyresque: (Pumpkin Eggnog)
satyresque: (Rudolph Frank)
satyresque: (Flame On)

  • Mon, 13:11: Two months and two days from now will mark the one year anniversary of getting my 1st apartment (with no roommates). Gotta love that!
  • Mon, 15:29: Getting into the TIL (Today I Learned) reddit page. I thought this was neat and decided to share! http://t.co/lg7zTfHI

My tweets

Nov. 11th, 2012 12:00 pm
satyresque: (Default)

Punknog!

Nov. 10th, 2012 12:00 pm
satyresque: (Default)

Movember

Nov. 3rd, 2012 12:00 pm
satyresque: (Default)

Sleepless

Oct. 26th, 2012 12:00 pm
satyresque: (Default)

Act Now

Oct. 20th, 2012 12:00 pm
satyresque: (Default)
satyresque: (Default)
  • Tue, 21:41: Thursday I have my 3rd interview (this one with the store manager). I've been told that should I do well, the job is mine. Here we go!
satyresque: (Default)
satyresque: (Default)

It's about time to update this again. The time sure flies. I really need to dedicate myself to writing more often. There are so many days that I would like to look back on that I never wrote about over the years. Especially with this move, I'd like to be more active on here. So let's start with August 15th. It was my first trip to the ocean alone. I got a month bus pass a week into August, so I used that to make my way to Ocean Shores. It was a beautiful sunny day. The skies were blue, decorated with only a few puffy white clouds. I walked around taking pictures along the path that I had to walk to reach my destination. Tall grass stood on either side of me as I finally made my way onto the warm sand. Drift wood lay around me on both sides, only slightly buried in the sand as people nearby flew kites and enjoyed the Summer sun. It was a Wednesday.

Grassy beach

The water was ice cold though, and while it was a warm day, when you got by the water, you definitely felt a chilly breeze. Still, I got my boots off and sat them beside the tall poles with signs that notified beach goers that they could not park their vehicles beyond that point. I walked, sometimes running in the sand as I combed the beach and took pictures. I even found a crab leg that I took home later as souvenir. I plan to make it into a Talisman. There were little Jellyfish that had been stranded along the wet sandy beach where the water met land. At first glace, I thought that I had found smooth sea crystals of some kind. As I got closer, I realized that they were in fact Jellyfish. Grabbing a few photos, I was delighted especially by those which had been caught in my shadow, showing off their luminescence. It was awesome.

Jellyfish

The energy that I felt hinted back to when I was 18 and had first visited the ocean with my dear friend Gary. There was so much to see and do. Later in the day I knew that I would have to leave soon, so I headed back for my boots, dusted the sand off of my feet, and prepared to head back in the direction from whence I came. Passing up my bus stop, I headed to a small Ice cream parlor, Murphy's. They didn't have my favorite flavor, though I did sample their Bubble gum ice cream. Deciding that I really wanted to be at Peppermint Parlor, I journeyed onward to McDonald’s and got two cheese burgers and a Dr. pepper before making my way back towards my pick up point. The line inside the fast food joint had taken me longer than I had expected, and I saw my bus heading for me. Flagging it down, I hopped inside and made my way back home.

Crab leg Talisman to be

The next day, I cleaned the Ol Lonesome, my friend John's bar. Afterward I spoke to Michelle (my other friend, who is Johns wife) and discovered that the Peppermint Parlor wasn't really all that far from my stop in Ocean shores! With a determination for ice cream I re-boarded the bus and headed for the beach. Heading back in the direction of McDonald’s, just on the other side about 20 feet was the Ice Cream Parlor I wanted to visit only a day before. I grabbed a picture of the outside and waited in line for my waffle cone. After discovering that the name of the flavor I had enjoyed there once before was “Beachcomber”, I sampled it to make sure and then bought a double scoop. It was pure heaven before I even tasted it! I grabbed a picture of the lady who sold it to me whose name tag read Ai-Lien and headed back to the beach. However, before I made my way there I had to sit down on a bench and finish my treat. It was an overcast day, and fog was obscuring my view of the water until I got close enough.

Beachcomber ice cream in a waffle cone!

Again, I placed my boots beside a pole and this time I watched as the waters were much rougher with waves upon which surfers surfed. I believe “shark week” has just ended and I had seen far too many great white sharks leaping out of the water to get their prey on my Tv. I was sure that even though you're more likely to get into a car wreck or airplane crash, that one of the surfers was going to be bitten. The water was dark and foamy, the air salty and a bit chillier than the previous day, so I only stepped into it briefly. I decided that it was a good day to take less pictures and to do more beach coming. I had just eaten a Beachcomber after all. By the way, if you're wondering what flavor “Beachcomber” is, it's Aqua Blue ice cream swirled with Marshmallow ice cream and loaded with Blue Popping Candy, Confetti and Vanilla Bean specks. It tastes just like "Blue moon", a rare childhood flavor that I enjoyed in Ohio. Its got a SLIGHT Fruity pebbles/froot loops taste.

I love the ocean!

So off I was seeking out interesting stones, of which I found many, including a stone that I loved finding as a child. Its got to be some kind of quartz. It has a white/yellow color to it, sparkles in the sun, and if you crack it open it's super shiny and sparkles even more so. I was like a kid again in search for gifts from the sea. Time flew by so fast unfortunately, and I quickly realized that I wasn't sure which end of the beach I was on. After a struggle to find my way back towards the exit I needed (which took about 30 minutes), I took at least another 10 minutes to find my boots! For much of that 40 minutes, I'm thinking that I wont find my boots in time and will miss the last bus home. I did miss the last bus without a transfer, but luckily I caught the very last bus and made my way back to my apartment.

I thought this was awesome!

My shorts were weighed down with stones and sand in a bag, my ipod, a cell phone, my digital camera and a wallet. My legs and ass were definitely feeling the workout that I gave myself. Between all the endless beach coming, then jogging like I was David Hasselhoff in Baywatch to find my boots and exit, I was exhausted. It was an adventure though! I'll just be sure to keep a better eye on time during my next trip. I'll probably go quite a bit earlier too. Today my mom went in for surgery and got a defibrillator put in. While they were aware that she has a lot of scar tissue on the back of her heart, they were not prepared. Instead of taking and hour to an hour and a half, they took three hours, and one of the three wires they have to attach to her heart could not be put in because of the scar tissue and their complete lack of preparation, I say.

Wonder how far this tree traveled?

So they are calling in the surgeon who can finish their work, but it may be the day after tomorrow. We're hoping that they don’t send her home before they are finished because it'll be hell and near impossible to get her back. That means she has one more surgery to go. I talked with her and she sounds good. She wasn't hungry for the hospital food though, and was less than amused, but that's to be expected with her. Who likes hospital food anyway? I do hope that she will eat though. She's got to keep her strength up. I'm doing my best to keep myself occupied and to think positive, and it is going well. Life is offering up great things for me, and this surgery will extend my moms life which is great for her, me, and the family. I am truly blessed. I never thought that I would be where I am today. Life... it takes such interesting turns when you take a risk! The “risk”, I think was so worth it.

satyresque: (Default)

My name is Tommy.

I grew up in North East Ohio with my parents who never married and my sister. I didn't know that my dad didn't live with us. He worked a lot and I remember staying up late so that he might come and tuck me in at night. I don't remember if he ever did though. I just remember listening to the low tuned radio until my eyes would grow to heavy to hold open. We didn't all actually live together until he bought a house the summer before 5th grade.

I loved my dad so much, even though he scared me. I think the bond between a mother and child is stronger though. At least it was for me. My dad beat my mom. I remember my older cousins trying to save the day. My mom wouldn't go with them though. I think by that time my aunts and uncles had given up. I don't remember them coming. I do remember one Uncle that was dying for my mom to give the word though. “He's going to hurt my Dad” I remember thinking.

I was rooting for him, my Uncle that is. When ever my sister got in trouble I was scared that he would hurt her too. She was from a previous relationship though. That was a line he wasn't aloud to cross I guess. He wasn't allowed to punish her. I remember that whenever my dad would beat me, mom wasn't in the room. I wondered where she'd go when I look back. He never beat me as bad as he beat mom though. Sure, there was the one time he punched me for what seemed like forever. I was curled up, face down on my stomach and shielding my face. Tears were streaming down it as I begged him to stop.

It didn't hurt though, not phsyically. I guess when you're all tensed up, your back is pretty strong. I wasn't just getting beat at home though. As I said, the summer before 5th grade, we moved into a house. I was excited. We had a big back yard with tall trees. I played pretend there for hours on end. I didn't have a lot of friends before we moved and when we did, I was the new kid. I'd been fairly sheltered, despite my experience living in a house with argumentative alcoholics. I wasn't sure how to handle the sudden name calling and teasing that went on. My sister was always there to shield me from those things before, but she was in High School and I was all alone.

I was being asked things I didn't know the answer to. Perverse things, by my peers. They taunted and teased me. They started to call me gay and I didn't even know what that was. Time went on and it got worse. I wasn't able to let it roll off my back. I was used to taking abuse and my strong spirit started to break. I remember feelings of panic later as I walked through the halls of High School. Who was going to bump into me? Who was going to say something now? I wondered if there would be a fight. All I wanted were friends. I wanted everyone to be my friend. Still as I scoured the sea of people for faces it seemed like eternity before I found one that I could make my way toward.

I prayed at night. I called the televangelists and most of all I hoped that my Grandparents who were dead still loved me. Mom was devastated when she got the news. Her son was gay. During heated arguments about whatever I can't recall how many times she called me a fag. I shared some words with her too. Everywhere I turned was that word, that – hate. One night my mom was drunk dialing and told the whole family that I was gay. I cut myself off from them and didn’t attend family functions until well into adulthood. Even those were far and few between. I knew what my family thought of 'queers'.

I wanted nothing to do with sports. My dad liked sports and I didn't want to be like the man who beat me and my mom. I didn't want to be around all the mean kids. With boys you can't really tell when they are being mean and when they want to be your friend. They taunt and treat each other cruelly for fun. I never understood that. I was certain that no one liked me. At one point I decided maybe it would hurt less if people made fun of me for being crazy instead of being gay. So I spent the rest of my time in school, building a reputation for being off my rocker. Bullying changed my life. For a boy who loved to daydream, I was suddenly living a nightmare. I was timid and forever changed. I learned to like being alone. I lived in a fantasy world that I created. I gave myself a new family and friends. Everything was perfect there. And when the yelling started, I bolted for the door, into my grassy back yard and passed through an invisible veil into another world. There all the pain, fear and sadness melted away. I was transformed for a little while. In an imaginary world, I was happy.

If you've read this far, you're probably wondering what I am getting at. I'm human. I have feelings, just like you. I bleed, just like you. I love, just as you do. I was promised that when I grow up I wouldn't be bullied. While that's mostly true (as I don't associate with nasty people) adult bullying is being supported by law. You might be saying to yourself now “Oh God I'm sick of hearing about this!” Or “I don't go around saying I'm straight, why must you say that you are gay!?”

I say that I am gay for all the people who are being bullied, just like I was. I say it for all the people out there who feel like they are alone. I say it because society forces me and people like me to. Believe me, I am just as sick (if not more) of saying that I want equal rights as you are of hearing it! The only way that you are ever going to stop hearing it is if you stop giving us a reason to say it. Give us equal rights. Stop bullying us and treating gays, lesbians, bisexuals and transgender people as if we are not deserving of the same rights as everyone else. To be honest, I think marriage should be left in the church and adults in love who want to be legally bound together straight or gay can have a civil union. Then you can “preserve your marriage” and we can all be equal.

As a child my mom told me that when I grow up that I can be anything I want. I'm still growing. In many ways I am just starting to live. I'm 29 now, but when I grow old, I hope that it can be with someone I love. I hope that I can hold their hand as I walk along the beach, watching the sunset with the people that we love surrounding and supporting us as we each say “I do”. And I hope that its legally recognized throughout the entire country. It does get better. I'm not living a nightmare anymore and I have a dream.

Profile

satyresque: (Default)
satyresque

January 2013

S M T W T F S
   12 345
6789101112
13141516171819
20212223242526
2728293031  

Syndicate

RSS Atom

Most Popular Tags

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags
Page generated Sep. 19th, 2017 11:51 am
Powered by Dreamwidth Studios